Used, as most residents of the former City of Gold are, to rolling blackouts, power outages that occur ad hoc, without warning and often with disastrous consequences such as blown electronic appliances, inoperative gate motors that force manual gate operation, alarm systems that no longer charge the backup battery, and cause great security risk, when I received an sms from my security company late Saturday night, that the power had gone down in my workshop, I assumed it was Eskom, the great prince of darkness, busy trimming the power load in that area and didn’t bother to go and check the premises.
1 Security is big business in South Africa with the private sector providing the protection whilst the Police Services are busy with a, seemingly out of hand criminal element.
It turned out that, as is often the case, assume makes an ass out of u and me!
2 Dr Spock changed it by just one small word!
My brother Anton spent many years in Papua New Guinea and has many a story to tell about the rascals who go about there, at night and in broad daylight, forcing 18 wheelers off the road, chasing the drivers away into the surrounding, thick tropical bush, hacking the loaded containers open with machetes and disappearing with booty to finance their lifestyle and drinking habits. Rascals with obvious talents who just get better and better at what they do.
3 A typical scene from the, famous for it’s coffee beans Papua, New Guinea! Once the driver has been chased away that container is hacked open and emptied of it’s contents!
The Johannesburg rascals who switched my power off at the, protected by a security gate DB board, use a modus operandi that has to be admired, even by their Papua New Guinean counterparts, where the power is cut to targeted premises on a Friday or Saturday night and the same rascals return 24 hours later to break into a, by now battery flattened alarm system, unprotected premises and have carte blanche with the contents!
4 Googling Gertie found this revelation! Carte Blanche by Jeffery Deaver. News to me!
A recent medical checkup gave me a thumbs up state of health, with the Doc mentioning that my battery was in good shape and the backup battery for my workshop alarm system was also, thankfully in good shape, having been renewed some three months earlier.
5 Note the strong battery! NB: Note also the green battery! Always consider the Blue Planet when discarding batteries, recycle!
Having, probably, a key for the padlock on the security gate, due to connections within my trusted security group, my rascals returned at about 2:00am on Monday morning, long after that smiley face, which had greeted us in the western sky on Sunday evening, had drifted across the cloudless Highveld heavens and was looking down with a wry smile from it’s now eastern position as the geniuses toiled in the dark.
A second security gate at the rear of my premises had been welded closed many years ago after a spate of euphoric break ins during the post 1994 era, and my rascals had to hack their way through the welded joints, probably using implements lifted from previous illegal activity, in order to get that gate swung open to expose the change room door. With the limited lighting available to the parasites, as they had switched the power off to the whole complex, my rascals with hopefully damaged fingers after missing the chisel with the hammer in the dark, then kicked in the change room door, which fell easily to their endeavours, and were greeted by the putrid smell of the work boots of my staff.
6 This evil stench will follow my rascals whe’er they may go!
Smothered in the evil stench, the crooked lot waded through the dark mist to the second change room door that leads to my workshop, which was also easy meat and succumbed to a screwdriver or crowbar! With feelings of accomplishment, my rascals entered the workshop arena where, during the daylight hours gladiators fight, solve unfathomable problems and put Lions to the sword, to the Hello you of my infra red beam, setting off the alarm and alerting the control room of my trusted security company that something was amiss in my workshop! They despatched a convoy of heavily armed personnel!
7 These infrared beams may seem a little like overkill, but 007 is bound to have found a way through them!
My backup battery still had plenty of woema and the shrieking alarm would have scared the living daylights out of my rascals in the darkened amphitheatre and, hopefully smashing their heads on unseen protrusions, as they ran, carrying only their implements, for their worthless lives disappearing into the gloom as the lips of our lunar guardian open slightly in elation!
8 The Moon watched as the rascals ran for their worthless lives!
That lot of rascals got away with nothing more than an accolade for their MO, sore heads, sweaty armpits and a lifetime reminder that an unclean foot can leave your shoe a most unpleasant piece of contaminated garb!
Morals of this story: Don’t steal lest you be caught by the wheel! And: Keep your backup battery in good fettle and renew regularly! Wash your feet and wear socks! And of course: Don’t assume anything, due diligence is of utmost importance!
Creedence Clearwater Revival sung about Proud Mary’s big wheel, which would surely have churned my rascals deep into the river and spat them out: (Do yourself a favour and listen on! Such cool music!)
St Vincent School For The Deaf helping the hard of hearing to listen:
Down Durban way The Fulton School for The Deaf:
Abraham Kriel Childcare group, caring while we work:
The Avril Elizabeth Home for the Mentally Handicapped was opened in 1970, and for the amazing work they do for the less fortunate they deserve great accolades: