Monkey

In my time in London SE17, those so many years ago, I often came across Cockney rhyming slang for all sorts of things. For instance “Up the apples and pears to point Percy at the porcelain” for him and “Alice at the chalice” for her!

Pointing Percy after climbing the apples and pears! (stairs)
Pointing Percy after climbing the apples and pears! (stairs)

If it isn’t obvious, your wife’s endearing name in cockney slang is “Trouble and strife”! Has anyone ever said to you to “have a butchers” at something? You probably unthinkingly took a look, without realising that “Butcher’s hook” is the cockney rhyming slang for look! If what you were looking at was a jam jar, then it would have been a car!

My favourite is, needless to say, “Can I send my driver for a Gregory Peck?”  (Cheque!)

A Gregory Peck made out for a tidy sum. and at today's exchange rate, a small fortune in Rands
A Gregory Peck made out for a tidy sum. and at today’s exchange rate, a small fortune in Rands

If a deal was done and commission payable then a “Monkey” was £500 and a “Gorilla” £1000! If you use your imagination you might just picture one car shark demanding his Monkey or Gorilla from his counterpart!

Honest Joe with his monkey!
Honest Joe with his monkey!

In life one often runs into people who are natural story tellers, and this Whisky related Monkey story captured everyone at the dinner table, whilst celebrating a good friend’s birthday:  Monkey Shoulder Whisky gets its name from the men who used to work long shifts in the distillery. They turn piles of barley by hand, and being very physical work, their arms would often hang down at their sides very much like a monkey’s does! Just as a tennis player can get tennis elbow, our whisky distillery worker would often get Monkey Shoulder!  Further to our story teller’s snippet we were informed that, whisky distilleries use the wooden casks that once held varying wines and ports, to store their whisky for the number of years it is distilled! (These casks they obtain from wines producers around the world) Thank you Nicky! Nice snippet!

 

Shoulders worn out, and they give the whisky the credit!
Shoulders worn out, and they give the whisky the credit!

I’m sure there are many mothers out there, blessed with children who behave like little monkeys, who might often look at their offspring thinking that very thing! A description in Afrikaans for just such a child is klein aap, (little monkey, a direct translation)! These little monkeys would feel at home playing on the Monkey bars!

Anyone want to hang around on the monkey bars?
Anyone want to hang around on the monkey bars?

If you are ever referred to as a cheeky monkey, you must just know you are regarded as a smart arse, or know it all with an answer for everything! Probably a little monkey come of age!

Monkeyshines refer to tricky or foolish acts, something the little monkeys above might be busy with instead of their school work!

Speaking of acts, what about The Monkees from the Sixties, with Micky Dolenz on lead vocals, and the rest of the gang, Davy Jones, Peter Tork and Michael Nesmith, they had a string of hits like, The Last Train to Clarksville, and this one written by Neil Diamond: I’m a Believer:

When I was ten or eleven years old, my parents enrolled their little monkey into the Boys Institute in Wellington, NZ. The idea being, I’m sure, was to keep me busy in the swimming pool! Little monkeys being what they are, I was sidetracked and ended up monkeying around with the gymnastic rings in the gym! An apparatus that requires skills that were obviously beyond my abilities, I was punished with a broken wrist!

Using the Gymnastic Rings correctly! Man must have pin ball wizard wrists!
Using the Gymnastic Rings correctly! Man must have pin ball wizard wrists!

A plumber’s favourite tool is his monkey wrench, or stillson, which he uses to work with pipes! The Afrikaners like to be different and call this tool a bobbejaan spanner, (baboon spanner)!

The monkey wrench!
The monkey wrench!

Monkey gland steak, popular in South Africa refers to the scrumptious sauce that is concocted from ingredients such as, tomatoes, onions, Worcestershire and Tabasco sauces, chutney etc. If you follow this link to the actual recipe, there you are assured that no monkeys are harmed in the making of the sauce!

http://www.grouprecipes.com/73863/monkey-gland-steak.html

Monkey see, monkey do, I come across every day in my life, and my industry, where technology changes every day and we are often learning as we go, having to adapt to new concepts and ideas!

Oh! So that's how it works!
Oh! So that’s how it works!

Monkey business is when shady deals are afoot! South Africans in particular are used to hearing many stories of monkey business in the form of huge bribes being paid in return for favours!

Lots of money in monkey business!
Lots of money in monkey business!

I wonder who can remember this song: Carleton Carpenter and Debbie Reynolds singing Abba dabba Honeymoon (from Two Weeks with Love) from that special era of Musicals the 1950s (Two weeks with Love was released in 1950, a year before I bellowed for the first time):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJHJAkhacGU

St Vincent School For The Deaf where there is no time for monkeying around

St Vincent School For The Deaf

Fulton School For The Deaf for the hard of hearing on the coast:

http://www.fulton.org.za/

Abraham Kriel Childcare, caring while we are busy with our lives:

http://abrahamkriel.org/